As I sit in bed, with my husband sound asleep next to me, I look back at the past couple months. Yikes... I'm 19, married, and about to be a home owner. Time has flown by, but, don't get me wrong, I'm excited. VERY excited. I couldn't be happier in my marriage. Yes, it's been rough since we have opposing work schedules and yes, we've been at each other's throats a bit lately, but at the end of the day, we're able to talk things out and go to bed in each other's arms, waking up the next morning ready to start a new day.

The house. We have a closing date of July 29th, which is also my hubby's birthday. It's the best birthday present I think he'll ever be able to give himself. We fell in love with the house instantly. It was the first one that we saw and after seeing only 4 others, we already had our hearts set on this one. Built in the 1940's our new home has harwood floors throughout all the rooms except for the kitchen and the upstairs/ half-story also has hardwood floors and knotted-pine floor to ceiling walls. It's a beautiful room to say the least. The house has more closets than I can even imagine to do with and the kitchen might be small but it has the potential to have more space. The nieghborhood and walking distance to the elementary school are just two more perks. We can't wait to move in. :)

I'm in love with the life that I am leading and there isn't a single thing I would change about it. I am grateful for the things that I have today and therefore I am happy. Nothing can take away the feeling that waking up each morning blessed with the things and people that I have gives me. :)

Love, Krys.

And yet another chapter of my life begins.

And so I sit here at a kitchen table, a thousand miles away from my house in Oklahoma, writing about what lies ahead of me.

I moved away. Away from everything and everyone I ever knew, besides my dad. I left behind the friends and family that have (mostly) been there for me my entire life. It sucked, but it was, and still is, an adventure and learning experience that I will never forget or regret. None of it.

I didn't imagine that it would be very easy to do. And it wasn't.

School was brutal. I never really got to know anyone and the one person I did has recently walked out of my life. I did great in all my classes and got to know my teachers pretty well making school navigation much easier. I never once felt uncomfortable asking where a class was or where the restrooms were. I didn't join the band and I didn't go to social events. I had no desire to really get attached to anyone while I was there. It was school. I was there to learn. Not goof off or have fun.

Like I said, I didn't make friends, besides the one really. I didn't mind that at all. I had my horse, my dad, the dogs, and a boyfriend who was there for me no matter what I did, even a thousand miles away. I didn't party and I didn't go "clubbing." I saw no point. My life consisted of school, work, and my horse. It's all I needed to get me through.

Work was a drag. I had a fastfood job scooping ice cream and serving the country a future of diabetes and obesity one burger and shake combo at a time. I can't say that I hated every moment of it, but I can say I disliked a lot of it. I met a few unforgettable people and will enjoy every moment spent with them. I will forever have a place in my heart for the people who were able to put up with me, even on my worst days. But the job made me realize that I have a lack of people skills when it comes to dealing with rather unintelligent people. Whether it be a co-worker or someone who came in for food, if they were less than tolerable by any means, it was obvious for them to see I was not the person to bother. I slowly obtained a reputation for being an asshole and a bitch. I was bossy and blunt. I told people, flat-out, that they were a dumbass and that they sucked at their job. One guy ended up quiting because I had told him he was a worthless employee. Customers said that I had a bad attitude and that I wasn't people friendly. Said I was rude and inconsiderate of the customer's feelings and concerns. My bosses, well, they loved me. I worked hard. Did what they asked of me, (in a timely manner), didn't argue, (much), and I knew when it was time to get to work and when a little bit of joking around could be tolerated. Not to mention that I did my job well.  

My life at home was normal. My dad slowly, but surely, got his act together and began going to AA meetings. He did what he could to make ends meet and I helped out where I could, buying necessities for the house and taking care of the dog food. We had, and still do have, a better than O.K. relationship.

My horse is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. And until I have kids, he will always be. He comes first to anything (except school). My relationship with him is like none other. I sometimes wish that I never had to be without him. He means more than the world to me because I know that he can never walk away from me. He has been there for me since day one. He listens, and even understands it seems, without bias. He is there when I cry and he doesn't judge me. He has never failed to make me happy and has always been my saving grace. Whenever I needed a boost, or a reason to smile, even a reason to know I was still needed, he was always able to give it to me. It's my horse that has made me realize that there is more to this life than just people and places and material goods. It's my horse that has helped make me a person who can appreciate the organic world and wish that we were still as in tune with the planet as the natives were. Horses may have been brought here from Europe, but it was the natives that let them be as they were truly meant to be. Natural and free. My horse is my life. If I lose everything I have, I hope that he's the only thing I am left with. I hope that everyone is given the chance to have a relationship like ours in some way.

I guess what I can say is, that by moving away from my "nest", I have learned who I am in this world and what I want to be in it. I have come to know myself and understand myself better by being around people who never knew me before I moved. I have grown to be a stronger, more confident person and know now what it takes to stand up for myself. I know, better than ever, what I am capable of doing and that I am the only person whose voice needs to be heard by me. The opinions of those that are close to me can only influence me as much as I let them and that only I can decide when and how they do. So, I guess, my only regret is that not everyone is able to experience something like what I have. Starting a new chapter, in a new place, with new people, is a chance to learn more about who you are.

I'm not the best with conclusions, so, I'll just leave that there.

As my Grandma says quite often, "Just keep on keepin' on."

-Krys

Untitled

I haven't posted in a very long time.

So here goes.

Today has been pretty uneventful. I'm having a movie night with my friend tori. We had one of these Thursday. I guess I don't have much to say.

Boredom overwhelms me yet again.

So I've come to the lateset conclusion that I hate high school students.

For the past two years I have been pretty much dead sat on teaching high school french classes. This past week though, as I recalled the experiences that I have had with my peers at my new school, I have realized that teaching them in six years would be brutal. It seems to me that it would be a non-stop hell that I lead myself to without hesitation. So I decided that I was not cut out to deal with imature 15 year olds who can't help but laugh when someone cuts ass or can think of nothing but boobs and butts. No. They may not make it past week 3. I may not make it past week three.

My solution: Become a vet like everyone around me has been telling me I should do since I was 12.

Sounds like I'm doing this just to please.

But, to be honest, I think it's what I'm meant to do. If you know me, you know that I love animals... all of them. There isn't an animal (besides geese) that I don't like. And loving animals is only part of my life. I have grown up around horses and have always wanted to be able to help care for them on a higher level than what I did. I wanted to be able to do something more than get it ready for the vet or tech. I wanted to cure them.

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^^I lost my train of thought.

I feel like I was meant to just be a mom

I have no children of my own, I'm a bit young of that quite yet. But I watched my niece all summer. And occaisionally her older sister too, also my niece. And it hurt me more, I think, to leave and know that I wouldn't get to share her first steps and first words with my sister and brother-in-law than anything.

I spent the entirity of my days with her. Playing with her, putting her down for naps, reading to her, feeding her, getting her dressed, and even the dreadful changing of diapers. But somehow, even on her worst days, when she was being a complete spawn of satan, I couldn't help but be thankful that I got to spend time with her. Same goes with my older niece, minus the dressing and changing of diapers, of course. 

All this made me think. Randomly, as most of my thoughts are.

I feel like my only weakness, besides flip-flops, is babies. I love them. It's weird. I know that it probably shouldn't sound weird seeing as I'm female, and we're supposed to, but it seems weird to me. I embrace every child that comes into my life, one way or another, like I think I will with my own kids. The thought of having kids has never once scared me, not even a little.

This post was completely and totally random. And it is now done. Enjoy I guess.

I'm excited for whatever it is that life throws at me. Bring it on world, is all I have to say.

<3Krys